Another Day
It's been a while since I've written...sorry, but it's been a crazy month. I've been working long shifts in the ER, and it seems like I'm staying late almost every night. It's been a zoo at the hospital...I spent 13.5 hours there yesterday, and as a result, came home at 10:30 last night, only to spend most of the night awake, with my heart racing. I love my job in the ER. It's exhilarating, fast-paced, and deals with life and death on an hourly basis. I learn enormous amounts of new information every day, which I love, and which I am sure will serve me well in my future in medicine. As I become closer to the ER nurses, mid-levels, and physicians, they are becoming more comfortable inviting me in to observe procedures, sometimes even assist. Within the last week, I've aided in a lumbar puncture (almost passed out on that one), suturing, and been smack in the middle of several full-blown codes. I am thankful for all these experiences, but they have left my mind racing and my emotions drained. Yesterday was extraordinarily rough, as we had three codes (who didn't make it), an acute heart attack, a patient seizing on the floor in front of me, a massive brain aneurysm, and a gunshot wound...I found myself in the middle of two patients in respiratory arrest, running with the crash cart, grabbing equipment for the gunshot wound who rolled in at 10:00 last night, and holding a sobbing 80-year old woman in my arms as her husband was getting CPR in the code room. He died. I couldn't help but cry with this woman as her best friend, her husband of 60 years left this life right before her eyes. I held her as she shook (she suffered from Parkinson's), and realized how blurry and faint the line between life and death really is. In the last six months, I have seen more death up close than many people see in a lifetime. Yes, sometimes it keeps me awake at night, my pulse racing...but mostly, I am just amazed and thankful each morning I wake up and realize that my heart is still beating, and I have another day of life.
