All She Needs...

Just wanted to share the newest addition to the Ziegler gang. She was the kids' Christmas present, and she seems to be settling in quite comfortably. She's adorable, kind of a nut, and the kids especially love taking her out to pee at three a.m.! So, all she needs now is a name...we're thinking we need a good German name, as she is a daschund puppy. Olga doesn't quite fit, so if you have any other ideas, send them our way, please (go ahead and write a name suggestion in the comment, folks...we need help)!

Baby, Baby!

Wendy, Daryl and baby Jacob came to visit snowy Buffalo this week! We loved seeing our nephew...he's changed so much in the past four months. We were surprised to see how animated he was, and how he recognized his name! We all stayed at the apartment, and had one big slumber party. Jacob found a new friend as well: his cousin Oliver (our kitty). Oliver was terrified at first, having never seen such a mini-person...and Jacob's squeals and kicking legs scared the wits out of Oliver, but I think they ended up buds after all. We loved having Wendy and Daryl over...and it gave us a cause to have some nice wine, play a few games, and explore the blustery city of Buffalo a bit more. Thanks, guys for making the trip! It really meant a lot to us. We LOVED having you...
Other news: James and I are almost finished with our semesters (Hallelujah!), and desperately looking forward to coming home to NJ for Christmas! It's been almost four months since we've been back. We can't wait for the Ziegler Christmas party (who's bringing a stocking for stocking face?) and getting together with the Van Wycks in front of the cozy fireplace...it's such a joy to be with family for the holidays.

Sunday Walk

Last Sunday, before the snow, James and I indulged in a long, brisk walk around our neighborhood. The air was clean and smelled of leaves and fireplaces. What a great way to spend a Sunday afternoon! We spent quite a while exploring our favorite cathedral (I like to pretend we live in a village in the middle ages)...

Another Day

It's been a while since I've written...sorry, but it's been a crazy month. I've been working long shifts in the ER, and it seems like I'm staying late almost every night. It's been a zoo at the hospital...I spent 13.5 hours there yesterday, and as a result, came home at 10:30 last night, only to spend most of the night awake, with my heart racing. I love my job in the ER. It's exhilarating, fast-paced, and deals with life and death on an hourly basis. I learn enormous amounts of new information every day, which I love, and which I am sure will serve me well in my future in medicine. As I become closer to the ER nurses, mid-levels, and physicians, they are becoming more comfortable inviting me in to observe procedures, sometimes even assist. Within the last week, I've aided in a lumbar puncture (almost passed out on that one), suturing, and been smack in the middle of several full-blown codes. I am thankful for all these experiences, but they have left my mind racing and my emotions drained. Yesterday was extraordinarily rough, as we had three codes (who didn't make it), an acute heart attack, a patient seizing on the floor in front of me, a massive brain aneurysm, and a gunshot wound...I found myself in the middle of two patients in respiratory arrest, running with the crash cart, grabbing equipment for the gunshot wound who rolled in at 10:00 last night, and holding a sobbing 80-year old woman in my arms as her husband was getting CPR in the code room. He died. I couldn't help but cry with this woman as her best friend, her husband of 60 years left this life right before her eyes. I held her as she shook (she suffered from Parkinson's), and realized how blurry and faint the line between life and death really is. In the last six months, I have seen more death up close than many people see in a lifetime. Yes, sometimes it keeps me awake at night, my pulse racing...but mostly, I am just amazed and thankful each morning I wake up and realize that my heart is still beating, and I have another day of life.

"To live is so startling that it leaves little time for anything else."-Emily Dickinson

Squirrel Head and Other Memorable Moments

Well, we're settling in and recovering from an whirlwind of a weekend. We visited the quaint and beautiful town of Oxford, Ohio, home of the University of Miami at Ohio. The occasion: our cousin Doug married a great girl-Cynthia Crain. The entire Ziegler clan made it (via plane, train, and automobile) and we had laughs galore. The most memorable moment was, without a doubt, Squirrel Head (for pictures, see Rachael's blog). In the running were other moments, such as Uncle Paul M.'s incoherent story about the dart getting stuck in his brother's head (complete with demonstration), meeting the infamous Brian (a raving success!), Arlin eating three slices of late-night pizza and magically-appearing chocolate cookies, while managing to remain California-gorgeous, father of the bride tragically stepping on his daughter's veil, nearly ripping it off, causing a "GASP" from the church full of people, riding the luggage cart at the fine Hampton inn, Reilly's debonair dancing, Gram dancing to "Superfreak," real live Secret Service Agents at the wedding reception, PJ and Amanda's Mind Magic Games, and last but not least, Doug on the cowbell. It was thrilling to see everyone. You know you love your family when you have to say goodbye 15 times, at three different locations, before actually leaving.

Autumn in Vineland, Ontario

Hello folks. Thank you to sweet friends and family who sent birthday messages. I loved and appreciated all of them. It's a lovely feeling to hear one message after another of people telling you they love you! More than one of you made me cry, which I suppose isn't a novelty for me. Anyhow, thanks to Garrison Keillor's writer's almanac, I discovered that I share a birthday with William Faulker, who, come to find out, failed his first college English course, and was fired from his first job at a bookstore for telling his customers that the books they were buying were "trash." Well, I guess that can serve as an encouragement to my fellow wanderers, who aren't quite sure where life is leading...Speaking of Faulkner, the sound and the fury of autumn are in full swing. Here are some lovely pics from a weekend in Canada. Driving through the fields and the farmland is remarkable; the air is calm and living, and the colors all seem bright and crisp. The deep blaze of autumn is setting in; its warmth and bronzed palate are a welcome sight. Enjoy the rest of the week, and for goodness' sake, go outside and drink in this season!

A Walk With My Nikon

Today I went on my first walk with my new camera. She's a beauty- the true, one and only camera of my dreams! Here's a bit of what we found:

Zuzu's Petals

I'm sick tonight. I woke up at the horrid hour of 6 a.m. for a day shift at work, and left the house on my bike at 6:30, my hair still wet. Perhaps that's what did it, but I'm home tonight with a very sore throat. I feel like Zuzu from "It's a Wonderful Life." I wanted to get up and do the dishes, but my sweet husband wouldn't let me move a muscle. He insisted that I stay planted on the couch with my book (A New Song- the 5th in the Mitford series), while he brought me tea, throat lozenges, and Vitamin C. Then, before I finished Chapter 11, he called me to come to the dinner table. He had made scrambled eggs, toast with my favorite French jam, and set out tea for two. He even set out the milk in my favorite little blue creamer. It was lovely, and my throat even seems to feel a bit better. I thank God for a husband who knows and shares my delight in small pleasures. Tea for two and milk in a little blue creamer turned my evening of self-pity into a cozy night.

The Van Wyck Family Singers!

The days are officially chilly now... I was just taking a look back at the beach pics from our vacation with the Van Wycks (Manasquan, NJ), and all of a sudden, I'm realizing that summer is over for another year. It's amazing how the years fly by. I'll be 26 in a few days, which my A&P prof. repeatedly told me, is the year that a female's body starts to go downhill (biologically). Our bones don't repair themselves as easily as in the days of yore, and osteoporosis settles in. Sigh.

Well, I also officially just burned another banana bread. I'm such a ridiculous cook. I get so sidetracked that I forget half the things I start. Thus, my once boiling kettle is now cold on the stove, my banana bread is blackened around the edges (hopefully still salvageable), and my pile of half written letters is staring me in the face.

On a more cheerful note, I spent the morning biking with a friend. It was a beautiful ride, albeit somewhat more rowdy than I had envisioned. I was imagining a lovely little bike through the countryside, perhaps a stop at a corner store for some ice cream.... When she offered me a helmet, I kind of chuckled inside, and said with a smile, "No, thanks, I'm sure I'll be just fine." Well, little did I know, this cute little nurse turned out to be a BMX biker with no little to no fear. Being the sport I am, I followed her without complaining, but as we careened down those bike hills at a terrifying speed, I prayed frantically and wished I had taken her up on her offer. All in all, it was exhilarating, exciting, and my legs are incredibly sore! Not bad for a Monday morning.

Jacob and Autumn

Jacob Donovan! We're so excited to have a nephew. Wendy and Daryl are wonderful parents. He's growing like crazy- off the charts in height and weight ('atta boy!). James and I got to spend a few days with him at the shore last week, and we just couldn't get enough of him! He's a little snugglebug!

Whew...I am so glad to have finished that race. Yahoo!!! I completed it in 1 hr. 34 minutes. I had hoped to break an hour and a half, but in the end, I was just thrilled to have finished the race! It was tougher than I thought it would be...9.2 miles is a long, long way to run. My legs feel something like Gumby legs today, and my poor toes are just crying! Anyhow, it's September 4th, and we're off, launching right into autumn. I am so thankful for the cooler days and the fall breeze! This is by far my favorite season...I love the warm, blazing autumn colors at the farmer's market- gold, maroon, and deep orange mums for sale (did you know that the word 'mum' is short for 'chrysanthemum'? Would you believe, I never knew that! What a discovery! The only reason I can actually spell 'chrysanthemum' is because Anne spelled it correctly in Mr. Phillips' spelling bee, beating Gilbert! Anne of Green Gables is always applicable to life in general.) Anyhow, here we are, Oliver and I, hanging out in our little apartment with the windows open, smelling the fall air. Actually I think I'm smelling his litterbox. Gross. Time to take care of that!
School starts today for me; James started last week. He already has a presentation this Thursday- this is his last semester of the Master's program! I'm so proud of him. He's is almost a MASTER of ENGLISH. Wow. How does anyone get to be called a Master of anything? Well, I'm taking a horrible Statistics course this fall, which I despise already. I don't want to know about charts or variables. Ugh. I'm mad just thinking about it. I'm also taking a pretty easy psychology course, which should be remotely interesting. I'm glad to have a reprieve from Anatomy and Physiology courses, so that I can work, work, work, all through September, and save up some money. Yes, I can feel it in my bones: chrysanthemums and chilly nights- this autumn is going to be a good one.

August Morning: Run Like A Girl

Well, I'm not sure that 11:00 officially counts as morning, but I'm just getting going (sigh!). It's a cool, breezy morning here in Buffalo, perfect for sleeping in (especially after a crazy shift at work last night, and not getting home until 11:30). Oliver, however, had other plans. He was on my face at 5:00, 6:00, and finally at 8:00, when I finally got up with him, and tried desperately to keep him from sticking his wet, cold nose in my sleepy little face! James and I say we're not ready for babies yet, but this is making me think we may as well throw some in the mix! I am waiting patiently for my ipod to charge, so I can head out on my dreaded run. Today is a 6-miler (eek!), in preparation for the 15 K Buffalo Fleet Feet race that I joined with my dear friend Allyson Beeke. It's on September 3. We're both terrified. I haven't run 15 K (approx 9.2 miles) in a year and a half since the Riverbank Run in Grand Rapids. My body is protesting wildly, but some sort of manic determination in me keeps me lacing up these shoes. Here goes!

Mango Juice and Mosquitoes

It's been hot here in Buffalo. The thermometer has been hovering around 90 degrees for the past few days. I am thankful that our landlord was in to open up a new (beautiful) piano window in our apartment; it provides a lovely cross breeze, and it's quite cute, opening from the top. Anyhow, here I am, off-track already. The point is that this heat has me thinking about lying awake in bed at night in Haiti, listening to the drums in the nearby village, and trying desperately not to think about how hot I was, or how many mosquitoes were flying around my face in the dark. At least I don't have mosquitoes crawling up my nose here in Buffalo. But, as much as I don't remember those hot, sweaty nights with great fondness, I do ache every time I think of that beautiful country, and all the friends I left behind in the villages of Coupon and Roche Blanche. I even dug out one of my favorite photos to share with you. I'm afraid it didn't scan as well as I'd hoped, but if you look closely, you can see a young girl doing her homework outside her home. I took this photo at about 4 p.m., in a village very near my own. I wish that I could share all of the delightful (and some not-so) sights, sounds, and smells of Haiti...everything was so loud...vendors and buyers shouting in the marketplace, the squawks and squeals of animals among the crowds, flashes of bright color--from womens' clothing to the melange of veggies in woven baskets at the market to the bright signs and homes painted horrendous pastel colors...it was constantly an overwhelming sensory experience. I was reading back in my journal from my year spent there, and I often ache for the experience of life there, raw and throbbing. I often feel like my days here are spinning, numbing, sort of a self-indulged dream, where all other objects and persons revolve around my hopes and my needs. There, I couldn't run from Old Navy to coffee dates, buy new mascara, wish I were skinnier, or microwave my dinner. It simply wasn't an option. My days were full of hard, hot work, giving, giving, giving, painfully long conversations, yet another child at my door asking for food/water, homemade music, dancing, making mango juice (so so delicious!), and writing by light of the oil lamp after the sun set. I know I shouldn't idealize it; I remind myself of the loneliness, the frustration of everything breaking, the frustration of being "blanc" (white)...but somehow the fears and frustrations fade with the thought of going back. I can't wait to get back. For all the hot nights, flat tires, mosquitoes, broken cars that take weeks to fix, and dirt covering everything I own, my soul longs to get back. I have to keep reminding myself that each Anatomy and Physiology class is taking me closer and closer to the goal of getting back to that dreadful, gorgeous, throbbing country. James and I love to talk about the possibilities of opening our own mission, getting teams together, raising our children speaking Creole. I know that our whole life won't be there, but I am certainly excited about returning to my village, seeing my dear friends again, forgetting the mascara, rolling up my sleeves, and getting to work.

The Sound of the Fiddle, Reeling and True

Yesterday was delightful. We awoke at 8:00 to a damp breeze blowing in the bedroom window, the leaves dripping with fresh rain. After a ride to school, a successful exam, and an honest day's work for James, we headed home for one of my first evenings off of the week. I snuggled up on our old velvet green couch with a book, At Home in Mitford (a delightful story of the mishaps and adventures of an Episcopalian minister in a small North Carolina town), and read with the rain until I fell asleep. James woke me up at 5:00 p.m. with a delightful surprise...Nickel Creek, a fabulous bluegrass band, was playing downtown in the square at a free concert! We looked out the window at the teeming rain and grimaced at the menacing thunder, but decided to brave the elements with the hope of hearing Sara Watkins (fiddle) and the world's best mandolin player, Chris Thiele. We arrived at the square to a beautiful sight...crowds of ponchos and multi-colored umbrellas, and the sound of a fiddle reeling. We found our way to some soaking wet seats on the side of a statue, and settled in for the show. I was thrilled to hear the opening notes of their first song...The Fox. You can't help but smile when you hear the runs and reels of this song, laughing through the rain. All around us, people clapped and danced as the rain poured down, puddles of music and joy at our feet.

Gray Days

With a sigh of relief, I am happy to say that two years of Gray days have finally paid off! I'm thrilled to see the finished product of those late nights and long hours of editing, re-editing, and generally pouring over Gray's Sermons. This book is a jewel, and I'm thrilled to have been a part of its publication. The content is beautiful: honest gospel sermons which deal frankly with the issues of life, but also showcase God's love in Christ for any and all who believe. If you're interested, contact my friend Steve Renkema at Reformation Heritage Books. He'll set you up! Also, thanks to Amy Zevenbergen for a beautiful cover design. Nice work, gang!

Garden Walk

Sorry, friends. I am a terrible blogger. I wish I had more thrilling things to write about...but it seems that I'm stuck with writing about James, Oliver, and me. My regrets. My life right now is simple. Let's see...James is writing papers, and I am working furiously, trying to do well in my new job in the ER (which I'm loving). Every morning, James and I drive a half-hour to Orchard Park, NY, where I take an Anatomy and Physiology class, and James works in a factory. We are constantly discussing the pros and cons of having only one car, and we've come to the conclusion that it's good, because it makes us dependent on each other. We're still thoroughly enjoying spending the greater part of every day together, which I count a major blessing. I am still taking my prerequisite courses, paying double for tuition, being an out-of-stater (miserable), and enjoying my classes. The plan is for both James and I to apply to graduate school in Buffalo for next year (2008). James will apply to UB for his PhD, and I'll try my darnedest to get into that 12-month Accelerated Nursing Program at UB. We love Buffalo. We're hoping to stay here for a while...turns out we have some great friends just over the border, and we are liking our life here. The architecture in this city is staggering. There are some of the largest, most beautiful homes I've ever seen, just planted all throughout the city. We've got the Frank Lloyd Wright house just around the corner, and other architectural jewels lining the Buffalo streets. And right now, the flowering trees are blooming, the air is cool, and the sky is brilliant blue. The streets are lined with trees, and we're finding out that Buffalonians take impeccable care of their yards and gardens. In fact, James and I are planning to take the much talked-about Garden Walk, where over 260 Buffalo residents open up their personal gardens for the public to tour...if you want in on this, come visit during the last weekend in July! We'd love to have company!

Old Coat

"Wear the old coat and buy the new book." -Austin Phelps

I must say, this is James's and my motto....holes in our socks, but by George, we just found a beautiful old copy of Austin or Wharton at the used bookstore downtown. Anyhow, the purpose of this post is to show off the beautiful new bookshelf that we just received from Mom and Dad Van Wyck as a wedding gift. Hand-crafted in a New Jersey woodshop by a talented craftsman (Dad!), it finally made its way up to Buffalo, where its new home was anxiously awaiting it! Mind you, we did have to turn the place upside-down to find the PERFECT spot for it (just ask Andrea and Jennifer, poor girls; they had to deal with the most particular, yet indecisive couple in the history of time when they helped us move, re-move, and finally fill the bookshelf!) It's made of oak, with a "Colonial American" stain. It holds about half our books, which is a feat, I must say. Thanks, Mom and Dad Van Wyck! We love it! The astute viewers among us will also notice that above the bookshelf hangs a beautiful painting of a Scottish countryside church at sunset, a gift from Mom and Dad Ziegler. The two fit perfectly together. Symbolic of the perfect union of families...on that cheesy note, I'll sign off to recover from my run--I can't stay inside, now that Buffalo is finally thawing out! It was 75 degrees today!

A Night for Steinbeck

It's thundering outside, and I'm strangely comforted. It feels nice to be inside on a stormy night. I think I'll read; I've been looking around for a copy of the Grapes of Wrath, as I've been on a Steinbeck kick lately. I just finished the masterpiece East of Eden, and I loved the questions Steinbeck engaged. Of this novel Steinbeck says, "[This is] the big one as far as I'm concerned. Always before I held something back for later. Nothing is held back here." He dealt with the essence of humanity, the "never-ending contest in ourselves of good and evil." The story is an allegorical retelling and re-searching of the Biblical tale of Cain and Abel (Genesis 4). It is a story of depravity, and deeply details our capacity for self-destruction; but it is also a tale of grace, love and humanity's painful struggle for acceptance. Are humans basically good or essentially evil creatures? Is a terribly evil person still a human being? Is there redemption, or grace, for humanity after a life of evil? Steinbeck only hints at an answer to this question,as a struggling man questions whether or not he is destined to a life of darkness because of the deep darkness that dwelt in his mother, and that he sees in himself. Steinbeck gives a glimmer, no, more like a strong ray of hope with the ancient Hebrew word found in the original language of Genesis 4: timshell [meaning, thou mayest]. With this word, he shows that there is redemption, even for the darkest of lives (1 Peter 2:9); there is a chance to overcome darkness and live a life of light. Thank God for this glimmer of grace, this redemption from our darkness. Thank God, because without it, the senseless, vicious tragedy of the Virginia Tech shootings would bring nothing but silent darkness. Without redemption, we would be mute, empty, lost in that silence. C.S. Lewis: "If the whole universe has no meaning, we should never have found out that it has no meaning: just as, if there were no light in the universe and therefore no creatures with eyes, we should never know it was dark. Dark would be without meaning." Thank God for His marvelous light--a light that may not explain the darkness to us in a way that we understand, but that gives us hope that that's not all there is.

Well, in the great words of Reading Rainbow, "Don't take my word for it! Find out for yourself when you read John Steinbeck's East of Eden. Take a look; it's in a book! Reading Rainbow!" What a great show.

Well, I must say, this weekend was delicious: crunchy new buds showing their faces and delighted joggers and dog-walkers in the park. Oliver and I are enjoying the damp air coming in through our open window (my new curtains are dancing). I worked at the hospital this morning, and it was hectic and great. I am thoroughly enjoying my new job in the Emergency Room, and am learning oodles of medical terminology (What's deep-vein thrombosis, you wonder? I learned today...), and it's going to be a great preparation for medical/nursing school. I am chum-chumming it with the docs and anxiously looking forward to joining the ranks of health care workers. James is out driving a car home from Boston (Who knew one could make money driving home from Boston? Count on James to find such work...). Well the rain is coming down quite hard now; I should go shut the windows...

One Fine Day in December

Well, folks, what you've all been waiting for... (ahem)....





Some MORE wedding pictures!!! And, if you're not satisfied with these, please feel free to view my (almost ready) wedding website of pics...HERE

What fun we had!


Check out how hard these guys are laughing!The photographer was about to wring their necks...

Drip Drip Drop

little April shower...I know it's only March, but the snow is melting! Hallelujah, the snow is melting! Everything is deliciously drippy and soggy, and mud is everywhere--a glorious sign that spring is here. I'm trying not to get my hopes up too high, as many native Buffalonians have told me, "Just wait. We'll have a storm yet!" I growl at their probably-accurate predictions on the inside, but I'm choosing to live in stubborn optimism, because, my, what a different place this city is without icy streets and biting gales. I am just giddy to see the green grass and hear the bird warbling outside my bedroom window (which is now open!). Thank God for seasons. The snow was a novelty at first; but just as we were growing weary of having to put on 16 layers each time we went to the grocery store, the buds begin to pop out. Even my poor, pathetic houseplant, which until now has been fighting for every last leaf, is pregnant with new growth. This dripping day reminds me of a poem by the 19th century Jesuit poet, Gerard Manly Hopkins:

THE WORLD is charged with the grandeur of God.
It will flame out, like shining from shook foil;
It gathers to a greatness, like the ooze of oil Crushed.
Why do men then now not reck his rod? Generations have trod, have trod, have trod;
And all is seared with trade; bleared, smeared with toil;
And wears man’s smudge and shares man’s smell: the soil
Is bare now, nor can foot feel, being shod.

And for all this, nature is never spent;
There lives the dearest freshness deep down things;
And though the last lights off the black West went
Oh, morning, at the brown brink eastward, springs—
Because the Holy Ghost over the bent
World broods with warm breast and with ah! bright wings.

It is best read aloud, in my opinion, with lots of facial expressions. Besides enjoying spring, James and I are hard at work. James is reading furiously, with two presentations and a rather large paper due next week. I continue to edit; I'm in the process of looking for another job, hopefully in a medical setting (or I can just keep watching House, and secretly pretending I'm a medical specialist). Oliver, on the other hand, is obsessively looking out the bedroom window at the squirrels, wishing he were an outside cat. More pics to come, as soon as we get our dinosaur of a digital camera up and running.

No Place Like

Well, here she is. There's no place like...a little apartment. She's quite cozy, and we've got lots of big windows and sunlight. Small, but charming. We've spent many a day and night here hibernating. I suppose once spring comes and life thaws out up here we'll spend less time in her, but for now, she's all we've got.

Pemberley

This is what I see each morning when I wake up. The house across the way is beautiful and stately, and I like to imagine that it's called Pemberley, and that Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy live there. It's a lovely way to start a day, really.